Saturday, August 4, 2007

I hate it when old people are right.

In another victory for aging curmudgeons, Aquafina had to admit their bottled water was nothing but filtered tap water.

The fact that I've paid $1 or more for a bottle of filtered Mississippi water doesn't bother me as much as the fact that these cynical old people - so fond of phrases like "Bottled water!? Why would I pay for water when I can get it for free in the sink?" and "Pretty soon they'll be charging you to breathe!" - now have the satisfaction of knowing they were pretty much right.

I like it when old people feel good about themselves just as much as the next guy, but this bottled water thing is making a lot of people feel a little too smart. The middle-aged hippie lady at work who I privately ridiculed for refilling her water bottle in the sink now acts like she's some kind of sage.

Add to this problem all the know-it-all CamelBak wearers who now sip from their little straws all day like they're the most resourceful people on earth. I understand these things if you're on a bike ride or hiking through the desert, but when you're sitting in the library sipping from a bag of water attached to your back you just look a little ridiculous.

Go ahead and defend yourself with scientific studies about brain activity and colonic-health being related to proper hydration Mr. H2O backpack. And if you need any help refilling, Grandpa and I will be drinking from the hose.